четвъртък, 23 декември 2010 г.
вторник, 21 декември 2010 г.
вторник, 14 декември 2010 г.
петък, 10 декември 2010 г.
четвъртък, 2 декември 2010 г.
Random Joke
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
сряда, 3 ноември 2010 г.
събота, 16 октомври 2010 г.
Random Joke
Two men are fishing on a riverbank when they see a funeral procession passing by. One of the men stands up, takes off his hat, and bows.
"That was a very nice thing to do," says the second man.
"Well," sniffles the first, "we were married for 25 years."
"That was a very nice thing to do," says the second man.
"Well," sniffles the first, "we were married for 25 years."
понеделник, 13 септември 2010 г.
неделя, 12 септември 2010 г.
петък, 13 август 2010 г.
сряда, 28 юли 2010 г.
Random Joke
A man walks up to a woman and asks, “Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?”
She quickly replies, “Yes.”
So then he asks, “Would you sleep with me for $20?”
Astounded by the question she says, “Of course not. What kind of woman do you think I am?”
He says, “Well we’ve already determined that. Now I’m just working on the price.”
She quickly replies, “Yes.”
So then he asks, “Would you sleep with me for $20?”
Astounded by the question she says, “Of course not. What kind of woman do you think I am?”
He says, “Well we’ve already determined that. Now I’m just working on the price.”
неделя, 25 юли 2010 г.
събота, 24 юли 2010 г.
четвъртък, 15 юли 2010 г.
вторник, 13 юли 2010 г.
неделя, 11 юли 2010 г.
вторник, 29 юни 2010 г.
неделя, 27 юни 2010 г.
събота, 26 юни 2010 г.
петък, 25 юни 2010 г.
понеделник, 21 юни 2010 г.
четвъртък, 17 юни 2010 г.
сряда, 16 юни 2010 г.
понеделник, 14 юни 2010 г.
неделя, 13 юни 2010 г.
петък, 11 юни 2010 г.
четвъртък, 10 юни 2010 г.
Cheating
A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a “nooner.”
“Don’t worry,” he purrs. “My wife is out of town on a business trip, there’s no risk.”
As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, “We have to stop, I forgot to bring birth control!”
“No problem,” her lover replies. “I’ll get my wife’s diaphragm.”
After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury. “That bitch!” he exclaims. “She took it with her! I always knew she didn’t trust me!”
четвъртък, 3 юни 2010 г.
сряда, 2 юни 2010 г.
вторник, 13 април 2010 г.
Mini Teckell Foosball Table
Made in ITaly by B. lab Italia, the Mini Teckell Foosball Table features a glass construction with aluminum players. It even has an optional glass tabletop to double as a table as well. $7,500.
понеделник, 12 април 2010 г.
Alarm Clock Bomb
Beep beep beep…wake up with andrenaline pumping on your veins as you defuse the bomb planted on your desk. Look for the wire with the correct color and indicated by the LEDs and unplug the wire. You wont go back to sleep again and you will never be late for your appointments. The Alarm Clock Bomb is only for $34.99.(Dynamites not Included)
петък, 2 април 2010 г.
четвъртък, 1 април 2010 г.
David Guetta @ Club FG 12.10.2008
David Guetta @ Club FG 12.10.2008 by Tacti
Tracklist:
01 David Tort & DJ Ruff feat. Daisy Villa - When I Became A Punk
02 Laidback Luke & Roman Salzger feat. Boogshe - Generation Noise (TV Rock Remix)
03 ATFC - I Will Work Ya Babe
04 ID
05 Cohen vs. Deluxe - Just Kick (Carl Cox Edit)
Tracklist:
01 David Tort & DJ Ruff feat. Daisy Villa - When I Became A Punk
02 Laidback Luke & Roman Salzger feat. Boogshe - Generation Noise (TV Rock Remix)
03 ATFC - I Will Work Ya Babe
04 ID
05 Cohen vs. Deluxe - Just Kick (Carl Cox Edit)
сряда, 31 март 2010 г.
Hennessey Venom GT
The supercar is based on the Lotus Elise but powered by the Corvette ZR1’s supercharged 6.2 liter LS9 V8. Plus a six-speed Ricardo gearbox, 15-inch carbon ceramic brake rotors, a programmable traction control system, an active aerodynamics system with adjustable rear wing and meaty Michelin PS2 tires.
понеделник, 29 март 2010 г.
Tire-iffic Pool Table
The Autosport Pool Table is a unique blend of a macho muscle car and the bar-hopping game of billiards. The chrome frame and chrome rimmed pool table was designed by the billiard geniuses at Hurricane Billiards (known for DOPE tables).
Operation: Soccer Escort
Original ad:
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net
Good afternoon.
My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.
If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.
Sincerely,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),
I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.
Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?
- Kate
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.
A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.
I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.
My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.
Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.
Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.
Let me know,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...
Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.
My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.
Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.
From Kate ******** to Me
Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.
(later, from another e-mail account)
From Nick Walken to Kate **********
Dear Kate,
I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.
When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.
You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.
If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.
Nick
From Kate ******** to Me
what in the hell...
DontEvenReply.com
I am in need of a reliable and SAFE driver to take my 10-year-old daughter home from after-school soccer practice starting in September and ending in late November. She needs to be taken from school in Exton to home in Bryn Mawr. It should take about an hour each day. You will be needed Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Looking for a safe driver with a clean driving record. E-mail at ***********@comcast.net with references. We can discuss compensation. Thanks!
From Me to ************@comcast.net
Good afternoon.
My name is Mike Partlow and I am very interested in this job. I have a lot of experience driving under dangerous conditions and guarantee your daughter will arrive safely at home every day.
If you are still looking for a dependable driver, please write back.
Sincerely,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
Mr. Partlow (can I call you Mike?),
I still am looking for a driver. Good to know you can handle dangerous conditions...but there probably will not be any dangerous conditions; you are just taking my daughter down Rt 3.
Tell me about yourself - are you a professional driver? Do you have any references from past jobs? What kind of car do you own? Is it reliable?
- Kate
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
You can call me Mike. I was never one for formalities.
A little about myself, I am 37 years old, and worked as a mercenary driver in the Middle East. I have escorted important clients through high-risk areas in Iraq and Afghanistan for five years. I have seen a lot of action, and have ensured the safety of my clients. Out of all the jobs I have done, 90% of my clients arrived at their destination unharmed.
I have several references. I'll have one of them e-mail you.
My car is very safe and reliable - perfect for your daughter. It is an armored 2007 Chevy Suburban. All glass has been replaced with multi-layered ballistic glass capable of stopping a 7.62 x 39 bullet dead in its tracks. The doors, roof, and floor have been reinforced with ballistic steel/composite that can withstand IED blasts and stop grenade fragmentation. This car has been put to the test and will always deliver.
Safety and protection is my #1 priority. The car is fully loaded with an HK416 assault rifle that fire under the toughest conditions. The roof has a 40mm MK-19 automatic grenade launcher turret installed. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it is good to have. I can't tell you how many times I've had to return fire against an enemy APC. I assure you that nobody will mess with your daughter as I escort her home from soccer practice.
Now lets discuss pay. I have various security packages I offer, and for your daughter I recommend my medium package which will run you $200 an hour. I also have a minimal package which is only $125 an hour. It is entirely up to you.
Let me know,
Mike Partlow
From Kate ******** to Me
This has to be a joke. This isnt Bagdad, it's suburban PA...
Are you just being sarcastic? What do you really drive? I want to pay 30 bucks a day, tops.
From Me to Kate ********
Kate,
Safety/protection is no joke. For $30, you are likely to get some 17-year-old kid who just got his license and will drive your daughter in his unarmored Ford Focus. I've seen an IED blow a Ford Focus into thousands of pieces, none larger than a golf ball.
My security package is well worth the $200 per trip. We will pick your daughter up in a random Suburban. Four trucks will pull up, and she will get into a random one every day. This is so the enemy does not know which one to attack. The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field.
Please reconsider my offer. You can't put a price on your daughter's safety.
From Kate ******** to Me
Stop wasting my time. Don't e-mail me again.
(later, from another e-mail account)
From Nick Walken to Kate **********
Dear Kate,
I am an old client of Mike Partlow. He told me that you wanted a reference for a job you are considering him for. Let me start off by saying, you could not have made a finer choice. Mike is the best there is. He literally saved my life countless times in Iraq. Whatever you are using him for, you have made the right choice. You will be 100% safe.
When I think about my experience Mike, one time stands above the rest. Back in 2005, I was a contractor in Iraq and had hired Mike's security detail to escort me through Fallujah. Everything was going fine until our convoy was hit by an IED. I don't remember much, but next thing you know, I woke up in a Republican Guard prisoner camp with Mike. I thought we were goners. They took me and Mike into a hut, where there were at least eight armed soldiers placing bets. They were going to make Mike and I play Russian Roulette. Mike convinced a soldier to let him play with three bullets, instead of one, which I thought was crazy. Mike even put the gun to his head once and pulled the trigger. He started laughing, and the soldiers started laughing too. When they let their guard down, he immediately shot three of them in the head, grabbed one of their AKs, and gunned down the other five soldiers. I didn't think we would make it out of that one alive, but thanks to Mike's heroic actions, I am here today.
You cannot go wrong with Mike Partlow. He is the best of the best. One time he killed an entire truck of insurgents using just a fork from his salad. He makes do with what he has and will survive the worst of situations.
If you have any more questions about Mike, please don't hesitate to contact me. I owe the man my life.
Nick
From Kate ******** to Me
what in the hell...
DontEvenReply.com
събота, 27 март 2010 г.
DJ Preach @ Dance Valley 15.07.2006
DJ Preach @ Dance Valley 15.07.2006 by bexx
Tracklist:
01 DJ Preach - Broken Inside
02 Wehbba - Discoteque
03 Michel De Hey - Oil & Vinegare (DJ Preach Remix)
04 Valentino Kanzyani - Homo Moralis
05 Depeche Mode - A Pain That Im Used To (Jacques Lucont Remix)
06 Wehbba - Tunung Done
07 ID & Valentino Kanzyani feat. Neuropolitan - The Game
08 Depeche Mode - Halo (Dance Valley Techno Bootleg Mix)
09 Valentino Kanzyani - Nueva York
10 Housetrap - Freak (Filterheadz Remix)
11 John Aquacviva & Madox - Feedback
12 Mojado – El Matador
13 Daft Punk - Alive (DJ Preach & Marco G Remix)
14 Cave - Gecko
15 Filterheadz - Endless Summer
16 Michal Poliak & DJ Preach - U Know Hit vol.5
17 DJ Preach - White Shadows
Tracklist:
01 DJ Preach - Broken Inside
02 Wehbba - Discoteque
03 Michel De Hey - Oil & Vinegare (DJ Preach Remix)
04 Valentino Kanzyani - Homo Moralis
05 Depeche Mode - A Pain That Im Used To (Jacques Lucont Remix)
06 Wehbba - Tunung Done
07 ID & Valentino Kanzyani feat. Neuropolitan - The Game
08 Depeche Mode - Halo (Dance Valley Techno Bootleg Mix)
09 Valentino Kanzyani - Nueva York
10 Housetrap - Freak (Filterheadz Remix)
11 John Aquacviva & Madox - Feedback
12 Mojado – El Matador
13 Daft Punk - Alive (DJ Preach & Marco G Remix)
14 Cave - Gecko
15 Filterheadz - Endless Summer
16 Michal Poliak & DJ Preach - U Know Hit vol.5
17 DJ Preach - White Shadows
петък, 26 март 2010 г.
неделя, 21 март 2010 г.
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